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Large Page of Silly Expressions

  • Well that just dills my pickle!
  • That's about as useful as a trap door on a canoe.
  • You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.
  • I'm finer than frog hair split four ways.
  • If you don't stop I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died. He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
  • He's busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin contest.
  • She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.
  • He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.
  • Don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'.
  • He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees.
  • You're lyin' like a no-legged dog.
  • Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.
  • That was faster than green grass through a goose.
  • She could make a preacher cuss.
  • Hell, she could even depress the devil.
  • You could start an argument in an empty house.
  • That coffee's strong enough to float an iron wedge.
  • You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
  • He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.
  • Why are you smilin' like a goat in a briarpatch? Our preacher's as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.
  • Each one of his sermons is better than the next.
  • He's so windy he could blow up an onion sack.
  • He's so useless if he had a third hand he would need another pocket to put it in.
  • She needs some fries to go with that shake.
  • That boy's more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.
  • Why don't you just take a long walk off a short pier.
  • They're off like a herd of turtles.
  • She's resting in peace in the marble orchard.
  • Well, don't you look prettier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of wheat cakes.
  • He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.
  • She's so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone.
  • He's about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.
  • If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
  • Well, if that don't put pepper in the gumbo.
  • Well, slap my head and call me silly.
  • Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud.
  • Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam.
  • He's not particularly intelligent: The engine's runnin' but nobody's driving.
  • If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
  • He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
  • He's so dumb he couldn't piss his name in the snow.
  • That boy's two bricks shy of a full load.
  • I think that boy's about two sandwiches shy of a picnic.
  • I think he's one fry short of a Happy Meal.
  • He's acting crazier than a sprayed roach.
  • He's so rich, he buys a new boat each time one gets wet.
  • You've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.
  • He's tighter than a flea's ass over a rain barrel.
  • He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
  • He doesn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.
  • It's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic.
  • It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
  • It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
  • It's hotter than two rabbits making babies in a sock.
  • He's not particularly handsome….
  • He's uglier than the east end of a horse headed west.
  • He looks like something the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.
  • He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.
  • She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house.